A month of uncertainty – #8 The Brothers Reid – No Badger Inspirations – #2

Taste of Cindy – The Jesus and Mary Chain (1985, Blanco Y Negro Records)

“I’ll pick number 36 please”. 

Now.  I promise I’m not making this up.  My list of inspirations is a decent list, full of wonderful people who strive to make the world a better place or great minds who challenge every day thinking and make us challenge societies norms.  It contains politicians who have literally changed the world and it contains my dad.

So, when my daughter picked number 36 off that list of about 50, my heart sank just a little bit.  Not because the number 36 was scrawled next to the words “The Brothers Reid”, that is cool.  I don’t need and shouldn’t ever need an excuse to write about The Brothers Reid from East Kilbride.   My heart sank a little because, me telling you lot about why they are inspiration to me isn’t exactly new – and I am now drastically rethinking this list and perhaps replacing the six other musicians that sit on it with some other more ordinary people.  Although I’m not sure I can ever justify replacing Kevin Shields with Fiona Bruce or swapping Jason Pierce for Pat Nevin.  Besides the No Badger Manifesto clearly states on Page 9 that you must “Never backtrack on an idea”.  Although if she picks numbers 1 (Pierce), 6 (Richard James) or 10 (James Murphy) next time you have right to call foul.

So The Brothers Reid it is and we may as well as start where it all properly begun for me, which was round about here,

Reverence – The Jesus and Mary Chain (1992, Blanco Y Negro Records)

I had of course heard the Jesus and Mary Chain before ‘Reverence’ came out.  I owned ‘Darklands’ already (£2 on vinyl from Parrot in Canterbury) and I’m pretty sure I had a taped copy of ‘Automatic’ as well.  But then I wasn’t going out with OPG then and it was her who really got me into Mary Chain.  It was her who wrote their lyrics all over my notebooks, it was her who sang their lyrics to me as we walked down the road or whispered them in my ear as she dragged her finger down my neck as we stood in the rain. 

Happy When It Rains – The Jesus and Mary Chain (1987, Blanco Y Negro Records)

But.

It was after hearing ‘Reverence’ for the first time that I realised that the Jesus and Mary Chain mattered and that was a short time before all that standing around in the rain.  In fact you could argue that it was because of ‘Reverence’ that I was able to do all that standing around in the rain, or least explain why I was.

You see, ‘Reverence’ made me dig out my copy of ‘Darklands’ and that in turn made me buy ‘Psychocandy’ and then properly invest in an actual copy of ‘Automatic’.   ‘Psychocandy’ blew my mind, it made me want to go back in time and be at those early gigs, I wanted to experience that, the band at the front, sullen and silent, backs to the crowd.  Playing behind a wall of smoke and a wall of sound and then walking off after 20 minutes, with the feedback still ringing in people ears.  Just imagine how good this would have sounded in 1985 in a working class polytechnic just outside Brighton for instance.

Never Understand – Jesus and Mary Chain (1985, Blanco Y Negro)

I saw the Mary Chain three times before they dissolved for the first time.  That was on the Rollercoaster tour (with Blur, Dinosaur Jr and My Bloody Valentine, I really hated my ears back then) and then a few months later at Brixton Academy (with the God Machine, more ear hating) and then finally I saw them in 1994 on the Stoned and Dethroned Tour (when I have a feeling Mazzy Star supported, so the ears were spared a little) and on each occasion I found myself lost in the haze of smoke and strobes that went into overtime mode when certain songs were played.  The feedback at times was so intense that I’ve found myself feeling physically weak from it only to then four minutes later be grinning like a loon at the sheer euphoria that only a song like ‘April Skies’ can produce.  Not many bands can do that once let alone three times.

There is thankfully nothing quite like them, whatever mood you catch them in, their music, their very presence continues to mean more to me than nearly all the bands that have come before or after.

JAMCOD – The Jesus and Mary Chain (2024, Fuzz Club Records)

The Best 44 4th Albums of All Time #20

Honey’s Dead – Jesus and Mary Chain (1992, Blanco Y Negro Records)

“Don’t do it for fun”

Points 70

Highest Rank 7^th

Far Gone and Out – Jesus and Mary Chain (1992, Blanco Y Negro Records)

‘Honey’s Dead’ was the first Jesus and Mary Chain record I ever bought – since then I have pretty much bought everything that they have done in one way or another – but it was this album that introduced me to that trademark wall of guitars sound that they do so very well. I was at the time going out with the female who we all know as Our Price Girl, she was a huge Mary Chain fan.  In fact the first time we went out on a ‘date’ she wore a Tshirt that had the word ‘Jesus’ emblazoned on the front in a way that mimicked the Pepsi logo.  She bought it from Camden Market and had wanted one for ages because Jim or William Reid had worn a similar one on the cover of some magazine.

Reverence – Jesus and Mary Chain (1992, Blanco Y Negro Records)

I say date, we went for a walk to a Nature Reserve and sat on a bench, fed some ducks, and delivered some milk to my nan, it got more exciting than that.  Date two was a trip toa library to listen to a lecture on the philosopher Emmanuel Kant, I wish I’d made that up but it actually happened, she wore a Birdland Tshirt that time and I should have run a mile then, Birdland were awful. But I didn’t run away, I sat and concentrated on what the lecturer was saying about Kant, and tried to look like I understood what was going on.

We went to see the Family Cat for date three which was much up my street, although her mum had to come up and pick us up from Swanley because the train broke down.

I would sometimes after college turn up at her house and I would find her in the lounge, lazing on the sofa, book in hand, dreamy look in her eyes as the Mary Chain soundtracked her late afternoon. If it wasn’t the Mary Chain it would be The Cure or Ride, but it was usually the Mary Chain that she listened to when she ‘relaxed’.

Teenage Lust – Jesus and Mary Chain (1992, Blanco y Negro Records)

About two months into our relationship, she made me a tape, a tape which I kept for a very long time, far longer than perhaps I should have done, that had loads of Mary Chain tracks on it, mainly their older stuff because I knew the more recent songs of course.  Although this track was about midway through the first side.

Almost Gold – Jesus and Mary Chain (1992, Blanco Y Negro Records)

I probably kept that tape because it had ‘Everything’s Alright When You’re Down’ on it and I didn’t have it anywhere else or at least that’s what I told people. It had nothing to do with the messages scrawled on the home made sleeve.

It was getting towards Christmas 1992 when I finally caught the Mary Chain live.  It was at the mammoth Brixton Academy.  That to this day remains one of the greatest gigs that I have ever been to, even if the band only played like three tracks from ‘Honey’s Dead’. I remember losing my mind as ‘Sidewalking’ became ‘April Skies’ and then that became ‘Far Gone and Out’ about half way through. 

‘Honey’s Dead’ may not be the greatest album in the Jesus and Mary Chain’s cannon, it may not in places even sound like the Jesus and Mary Chain, it concerns itself far too much with a ‘Big Rock’ sound and sometimes it is faintly ridiculous (like on ‘Reverence’ for instance – although when you are sixteen and full of teenage angst, songs which talk about dying like Jesus Christ are anything but ridiculous) but it is kind of brilliant.  It is a record that lit a fuse inside me.

Here is Monday’s lyrical clue,

“Sharp and open, leave me alone”

A Creation Records Countdown – #2 – Jesus and Mary Chain

I heard a ringing sound

Points 245

Highest Rank 1^st (Four times)

Lowest Scoring Rank 14^th (twice)

Upside Down – Jesus and Mary Chain (1985, Creation Records, Single)

With three hours until the voting door slammed shut, the Jesus and Mary Chain sat eight points clear at the top of the table.  The statements of several jury members all seemed to be coming true. Because, it was obvious apparently that ; –

“The Mary Chain will win this” and

“Inevitably Jesus and Mary Chain winning this is a foregone conclusion” or even

“There are sure fire bets and then there is this is’”

They had been top from the start (apart from a brief period where My Bloody Valentine sat at the top thanks to top marks from JM2 and JM3) and had sat there up until three hours before the voting door slammed shut and then they proceeded to Arsenal/Dortmund (delete according to your favourite bottlers) it all up and to keep the sporting analogy going, the Jesus and Mary Chain it seems right now at least, are the Jimmy White of indie rock.

They should have won it because despite what JM22 says below they were one of the most influential bands ever to appear on the label even if they (at first) only released one record on the label. 

“The Jesus and Mary Chain were only on Creation (the first time around) for like ten minutes – but what a ten minutes it was – ‘Upside Down’ influenced pretty much everything good that followed it.  If they never recorded a single note after that, they’d still be one the greatest bands that have ever existed….”

The Jesus and Mary Chain were the only band to feature in every single set of results that were returned, even if as one Jury Member put it

“the Mary Chain, won’t need my points, but I’ll give them some anyway”

And they still didn’t win it.

Never Understand – Jesus and Mary Chain (1985, Blanco Y Negro Records, Taken from Psychocandy’)

Something’s Wrong – Jesus and Mary Chain (1985, Blanco Y Negro Records, Taken from ‘Psychocandy’)

Of course they came back to Creation in 1998 when they released ‘Munki’ as JM11 is happy to point out – but this is where the cracks had started to appear in the inevitable result

“You see the Mary Chain should have twenty points, but they get relegated a couple of places because they did what no band ever should.  They came back and very nearly destroyed their legacy with a hoary old album about being frustrated and grumpy”

He’s talking about ‘Munki’ – the album the bands released on Creation in 1998, which proved to be something of a catalyst for them splitting up.  It isn’t that old and hoary, its just a bit all over the place.

Cracking Up – Jesus and Mary Chain (1998, Creation Records, Taken from ‘Munki’)

With three hours left until closing time, a bunch of stragglers votes came in.  They all voted for the Reid brothers of course they did, but they also voted for another band, a band they all ranked higher.  A band who then leapfrogged over the Reids and walked off with the crown.

I Hate Rock N Roll – Jesus and Mary Chain (1995, Creation Records, Taken from ‘Munki’)

But who were that band?  A band so comfortable with seemingly stealing things away from other bands, from people who might have been considered their friends, a band that seem not to have any loyalty….

Well, here is a lyrical clue….

Splendour in silver dress

Rocks Greatest J’s #2 Jesus and Mary Chain

Oh, honey, give me one more chance

Sometimes Always – Jesus and Mary Chain (1994, Blanco Y Negro Records, Taken from ‘Stoned and Dethroned’)

Points 91

The Jesus and Mary Chain topped my own personal poll for more reasons that I’ll go into here, but if you really must know some of them.  They were the band who in the early nineties soundtracked (well them Pavement and The Cure) my first real love affair.  In the pouring rain on an odd summer evening in July a 17 year old me kissed a girl just after she whispered “I’m happy when it rains” into my ear and ran her fingers down my neck.  Right there and then the world could have stopped turning and I wouldn’t have cared a hoot.  That 17 year old me, had never been so happy as the rain drizzled down my face.  They are worth ten points for that alone.

Happy When It Rains – Jesus and Mary Chain (1987, Warner Records, Taken from ‘Darklands’)

The Jesus and Mary Chain also recorded ‘Psychocandy’, the only record ever made that has made me regret not being about six years older than I already am and to have been in my late teens in the mid eighties.  When I first heard it – roughly six weeks after the July incident mentioned above – I spent the rest of the week wishing that I could have seen the Mary Chain live in 1985, even though the average Mary Chain gig lasted ten minutes, in fact, I wanted to see the Mary Chain, because, the average gig lasted ten minutes.  I wanted to be blown away by the waves of feedback and then serenaded by the vocals, that despite the content of lyrics (typically death, pain, drug abuse, rejection, filthy depraved sex etc.) were somehow amazingly sweet.

JM13 wants to interject –

“I saw them live in the late 80s and I’ve retained my love for essentially those same three chords ever since”

You can go off people you know…

‘Psychocandy’ was nearly everything to an 18 year old me, if was brilliant because it was antisocial, angry and aggressively noisy when it really didn’t need to be.  It is one of hugest influence on my life and if I was in a burning building with two rooms and I had my cat in one room and ‘Psychocandy’ in the other, then I’d be saying goodbye to the cat (I wouldn’t really, I’ve got ‘Psychocandy’ locked away in a fire proof safe, but hopefully you get the point).

Never Understand – Jesus and Mary Chain (1985, Creation Records, Taken from ‘Psychocandy’)

They also made one of the greatest B Side’s ever recorded. In fact their B sides are the sort of records that most bands would give their feedback pedals for.

Everything’s Alright When You’re Down – Jesus and Mary Chain (1988, Blanco Y Negro Records, Taken from ‘Barbed Wire Kisses’)

But don’t just take my word for it.

Here’s JM7 for instance “The Jesus and Mary Chain are a band who could combine noisy guitars and melody so that they stuck together like syrup over fruit.  They are a band who have stood the test of time”

JM12 puts it slightly ruder way than JM7

“I’ve placed the Mary Chain arbitrarily high because I fucking love them”

Which I think the band would sort of agree with.

I Hate Rock and Roll – Jesus and Mary Chain (1995, Blanco Y Negro Records, Taken from ‘Munki’)

And so we reach the end, tomorrow, on Friday we will reveal the band/act/musician that the Musical Jury have voted their Number One – The Greatest J in Rock Music – A title that from now on will see a slew of new bands whose name starts with J – just in case this blog decides to repeat this countdown in five years time.

Here just in case you needed one, is the lyrical hint, …”and she’s clinging to the nearest passerby”

Oh God, It’s A New No Badger Required Countdown

Firstly, welcome to April (and this post isn’t actually a joke) and given the theme this month, this seems rather apt.

April Skies – Jesus and Mary Chain (1987, Warner Records, Taken from ‘Darklands’)

A few months ago, I asked Mrs SWC to pick a letter, any letter from the alphabet.  Unbeknownst to her I would then make that letter the focus for the month of April.  In that every post on a Monday to Friday would feature a band or artist whose name started with that letter.  I sat back and hoped she didn’t pick X or Q (I had a back up plan – my daughter who was also asked to pick a letter, in an entirely different room – that will also be a series later this year) 

She picked the humble letter J.  So welcome then to Rocks Greatest J. A quick month long jaunt through rock history in which the acts are all linked by the letter J.

As this was going to be a countdown it meant contacting a few old friends to make sure that the countdown was wide and varied.  Sadly, none of them picked up the phone, so I had to email The Musical Jury instead. 

“Give me a list of your ten favourite musical acts that start with a J” I yelled at them via an email.  A fairly easy task I’m sure you will agree, that was until I put a few rules in place, which as one Jury Member shouted back at me “could confuse a stupid person”. 

1. If you pick a band that band must start with a J – so mid nineties Dot Cotton endorsed indie popstrels Jocasta would count but bands like The Silver Jews would not.
2. If you pick a solo artist their FIRST name must start with a J – so Joe Jackson would count but Michael Jackson would not.
3. If you pick a solo artist who was in a band, you must only consider their solo work and NOT the work of the band (unless that band starts with a J) so for instance Jarvis Cocker or Julian Cope would count here but only their solo work.
4. You must award 10 points to the act in first place, 9 to second and so on.

I then gave the MJ two weeks to respond and waited for the votes to roll in.

In total the Jury voted for 75 different J’s in Rock and the results are really surprising.  Just for the record John Lennon, Johnny Marr, Judas Priest, Janes Addiction,  Jah Wobble, and Jarvis Cocker all failed to make the top twenty, as did these two but only just : –

Last Goodbye – Jeff Buckley (1994, Columbia Records, Taken from ‘Grace’)

You Are The Light – Jens Lekman (2004, Secretly Canadian Records, Taken from ‘You Are The Light EP’)

In case you are interested according to the Jury Member’s the 75^th Greatest J in Rock is this bunch.

Info Freako – Jesus Jones (1989, SBK Records, Taken from ‘Liquidizer’)

Considering that Japanese Breakfast, Jack Johnson, Jason Donovan, Julee Cruise, Julie London, The Jicks, Juliette and the Licks, Joan as Policewoman and Joan Jett all failed to score a single point, I would imagine that Jesus Jones are feeling pretty pleased with themselves right now.

The countdown from 20 to 1 starts here on Monday.

Desert Island Dick – 2

Never Understand – Jesus and Mary Chain (1985, Creation Records, Taken from ‘Psychocandy’)

It dawned on me on the walk home from the village shop that I probably wouldn’t be able to write about the Jesus and Mary Chain or various other bands in the Parish Magazine either.  The devilish side of me wanted to put ‘Reverence’ on the list just because of the chorus, but sense soon kicked in, because in reality, no one who is remotely serious about music would take ‘Reverence’ to a desert island, particularly if you have every other Jesus and Mary Chain track to choose from, which I did.  

If I was actually on the proper Desert Island Discs, the Jesus and Mary Chain track that I would select would ‘Never Understand’ for two reasons.  Firstly, obviously, because it’s a bloody chaotic mess of a song and every second of it is brilliant because of the chaotic mess that is swirling around it.  The second reason is because when it gets dark and the wild beasties start circling around my little camp, having the ability to play this as loud as possible for a few minutes a day would probably scare off even the hardest of hungry flesh eating mammals.

Talking of scaring off terrifying carnivores, if I had to choose a bunch of songs that I would take to a desert island that I could play to stop me being eaten alive, then after ‘Never Understand’ had finished it would be swiftly followed by a quick blast of My Bloody Valentine– and by the way – that is a series just waiting to be written “Songs to stop you being eaten alive”.

You Made Me Realise – My Bloody Valentine (1988, Creation Records, taken from ‘You Made Me Realise EP’)

‘You Made Me Realise’ is colossal, a brain achingly noisy, reverb inspired, ear splittingly incredible song.  The musical equivalent of being stood on the middle of Dartmoor as hailstones the size of golf balls fall all around you.  Dangerously brilliant in other words.

On the way home I discounted about seventy songs from my final list of three, some I tossed aside like old crisp packets, like this one for instance, I mean it’s great and I love it to absolute bits but would I want it on a desert island as the darkness rolled in, probably not.

Territorial Pissings – Nirvana (1991, Geffen Records, Taken from ‘Nevermind’)

Others my conscious wrestled with me like Tarzan meeting a crocodile whilst swimming across a lake. 

The Rat – The Walkmen (2004, Record Collection Records, Taken from ‘Bows + Arrows’)

Seriously several villagers lives would be enriched by them exploring that song and it shames me that it didn’t make the final list.

There were also one or two songs that I had to discount because the reasons for picking them are simply way too personal to share with retired colonels, shop keepers, gardeners and farmers.  Songs that were I interesting and/or famous enough to be on the real Desert Island Discs I would be able to weave an emotional tale of what that record meant to be, whilst grannies around the country adjusted their embroidered pillows which have my face on them and remarked about what a lovely chap I am.

Songs like this

Summer Babe (Winter Version) – Pavement (1991, Big Cat Records, Taken from ‘Slanted and Enchanted’)

And definitely this

Shine A Light – Spiritualized (1991, Dedicated Records, Taken from ‘Laser Guided Melodies’)

Which left me by the time I got home, with three tracks and tomorrow I’ll share the final piece that I wrote for the Parish Magazine.

A Month all about Names – #20 – Alice

Alice in Vain – Sleeper (1995, Indolent Records, Taken from ‘Smart’)

When I was eight I spent 24 hours in a huge house on the edge of Primrose Hill in London.  This house was owned by a lady called Alice.  She was the mother of my Aunt and we were there because Alice had just married for the third time to a seven foot Canadian called Edwin.  Edwin was a retired Mountie and had met Alice at Heathrow Airport when they got talking whilst waiting for friends to land on a flight from Vancouver.  The story goes that both of them were so engrossed in each other company in the arrivals area that neither spotted the people that they were waiting for to arrive.  Six months later they were about to be married. 

The first time I met Edwin was rubbing my shin because a blonde haired freak of a child called Richard (a sort of second or third cousin I think) had just kicked me there.  Edwin shook me firmly by the hand, almost breaking it in the process and said “Damn ain’t your hair curly”. Which it was.   Nearly every sentence that Edwin said started with “Damn”.  He got married wearing his old Mountie Uniform and had duck to get in every room he entered. 

The first time I met Alice I was five and she made me stand in her lounge and sing along to ‘Do Rae Mi’, whilst she plinked away on the piano. I didn’t know the words and I remember crying and running to my nan as Alice barked at me “No its Far, a long long way to gooooo”, as my brother laughed at me (he having pretended to have a sore throat to get him out of the singing). 

Do Rae Mi – Julie Andrews (1965, RCA Records, Taken from ‘The Sound of Music Soundtrack’)

My Nan didn’t like Alice and proudly declared at the dinner time about three hours after the wedding and around halfway through her second large glass of ‘fizzy wine’ that she’d give the marriage about a year.  Before adding slyly that even that would be longer than her second one.   At this point my grandad decided to go outside to smoke cigars with Edwin and my uncle.

According to Alice’s daughter (my aunt), her second wedding lasted about three months.  She married an Italian guy in the seventies who failed to tell her that he was linked to a violent criminal organisation.  Around six weeks after the marriage, the police arrested him for extortion, larceny and a bit of brutality and she literally never saw him again.  Luckily for Alice, the Italian guy signed over half his house to her and as he no longer needed it and when the divorce came through, she got to keep the entire rambling pad on the edge of Primrose Hill.

There are a few songs in the music library with Alice in the title. Let’s start with some genius post punk from Canada (Damn, it’s what Edwin would have wanted)

Alice – Ought (2018, Merge Records, Taken from ‘Room Inside the World’) – If you are not familiar with Ought I strongly recommended their entire back catalogue to you all.  Next up, something from late eighties Jesus and Mary Chain, which is never a bad place to be.

Here Comes Alice – Jesus and Mary Chain (1989, Warner Records, Taken from ‘Automatic’)

Next, some gloomy old Goth from the Sisters of Mercy and a track I inherited on 12” when my brother abandoned Goth after being dumped by the Sussex version of Patricia Morrison.  I think I may have played it once.

Alice – Sisters of Mercy (1982, Merciful Release Records, Single)

Finally for today and this entire series, we end with Liz Fraser’s ethereal whispering.

Alice – Cocteau Twins (1996, Capitol Records, Taken from ‘Stealing Beauty OST’)

Tomorrow – Something completely different.

Rearranging The Flowers – A Pointless Whodunnit with musical interludes and 7 chapters – #3

(Will the sneeze prove fatal for our hero?)

I must have looked pretty odd when the vicar (accompanied by Mrs Figgis) eventually opened the roof door about ten minutes after I sneezed.  I stood there gripping my trowel.  I was prepared to, well, trowel someone to death if I had to. 

Clubbed to Death – Rob Dougan (1994, Mo’Wax Records, Taken from ‘Annie On One’)

Mrs Figgis held the door open as the vicar walked across the roof towards me.  I lowered the trowel and tried my best to look at the very least, sort of sane.

“Whatever’s the matter man?” said the vicar, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost” and he put his arm around me and lead me to the small wooden stairs that lead from the tower to the rood.  As we reached the doorway I felt the first drops of rain fall onto my head.  I looked back, my bucket sat all by itself over by the air vent and I broke free from the vicar and told him that I’d forgotten my bucket. 

The rain splashed on the reinforced roof of the tower as I trudged back over to get my bucket.  I took in a few deep gulps of air and then turned back around and grinned at the vicar,

“Vertigo” I said to him, “Sorry, makes me a bit, erm, forgetful”. I don’t know why I said that.  I figured that it was more believable than telling him I was shaken up by two of the flower arrangers conspiring to murder an as yet unknown person.

Vertigo – The Libertines (2002, Rough Trade Records, Taken from ‘Up The Bracket’)

We walk back down the stairs, I collect my bag from the office and head on out of the church.  As I walk through the aisles I see Mrs Checkley and Kevin standing by the door and putting a big tub of brightly coloured flowers in a tub.  They both stare at me as I walked down the church towards the exit.  I eye them suspiciously and quicken my step.  Kevin suddenly steps out in front of me and for some reason my legs sort of wobble and then just stop working. 

Paralyzed – Ride (1990, Creation Records, Taken from ‘Nowhere’)

I should fancy my chances in a straight up fist fight with Kevin.  For a start, I’m a lot younger than him.  I’m also in much better shape and I’m armed with a trowel.  He has what looks like a bunch of aspidistras in his hand.  I shouldn’t be worried about him.  Then again, on other hand, I haven’t poisoned someone, filled their pockets with rocks and then dumped them in a reservoir.

“Make you a cup of tea?” Kevin asks me in his chirpy Cockney drawl, “As a thank you for fixing the roof”, he looks towards Mrs Checkley who has a look on her face that could curdle any milk she touched.

God Help Me – Jesus and Mary Chain (1994, Blanco Y Negro, Taken from ‘Stoned and Dethroned’)

I shake my head and decline his offer, making an excuse that my wife is expecting me home so I can fix the dishwasher.  What I want to say is that I don’t want to be their next victim.  I’m sure I read somewhere that the sap from aspidistras is poisonous to humans.  I step to one side to pass the bulky figure of Kevin and as I do, a door opens from behind me and the vicars voice calls out.

“Kevin have you or Jean seen Angela Finch?  Apparently she has not been since she left Bridge Club last night.  Her neighbour has been round to her house and she is not there and her bed hasn’t been slept in”.

Have You Seen Her Lately? – Pulp (1994, Island Records, Taken from ‘His N Hers’)

And with that Mrs Checkley dropped a vase on to the cold stone floor.

Retrospective Musical Naval Gazing – #2 (1992)

1992’s end of year list was scrawled on a piece of paper that was tucked inside an old folder that I was using for my ‘Business Studies’ course.  The fact that there was more writing about music in that folder than there was about Business Studies probably tells you everything you need to know about what I thought about studying Business Studies. 

My 1992 Top Ten was very indie heavy something that wouldn’t change until around 1995, but it’s still even today a very good list.  Some of the entries are in different coloured pens as well, which probably means I was doing something like revealing a different song every day or some such nonsense, but sat at the top ten, in blue and underlined was this: –

Medication – Spiritualized (1992, Dedicated Records, Taken from ‘Pure Phase’)

‘Medication’ is an astonishing record, it starts all whispered and vulnerable sounding but descending into a complete avalanche of guitars, feedback, and crashing drums.  It is classic Spiritualized, and whilst it may not be their finest moment and ‘Pure Phase’ may not be their greatest album (it kind of bridges a gap between their two monoliths and gets overlooked because of it, well by me at least) back in 1992, it sounded incredible.

1992 was of course, the year that I somehow managed to get myself a proper girlfriend, one that would shape my world for at least the next 16 months on and off and much of the top ten (and tomorrows) is heavily influenced by her and my friendship grounds as well.  For instance at Number Two was this: –

Summer Babe – Pavement (1992, Big Cat Records, Taken from ‘Slanted and Enchanted’) – which is a record that I still utterly love and was a record that she introduced me to. It is a track, for a reason that I have long since forgotten, that I always play every time I sleep somewhere new, this is mostly done via headphones now, but when I moved into my halls at university, it was played very loudly.

Elsewhere in that Top Ten at numbers four, seven and eight respectively are tracks by other bands that I still love today more than thirty years after first hearing them

Sheela Na Gig – PJ Harvey (1992, Too Pure Records, Taken from ‘Dry’) – the first time I head PJ Harvey I was eating a bowl of Rice Krispies.  She was the featured artist on a Channel Four breakfast programme and her debut album ‘Dry’ was everywhere at the time.  By the end of that day I had ‘Sheela Na Gig’ on 12” and it remains in the vinyl cupboard today.

Creep – Radiohead (1992, Parlophone Records, Taken from ‘Pablo Honey’) – Near the start of 1992 I went to London to see Kingmaker, the train was late and by the time I got to the venue (which I think was the Town & Country Club) the support band was near the end of their set.  That support band was Radiohead and even though I saw three songs, they were still someway better than an entire Kingmaker set.

Reverence – Jesus and Mary Chain (1992, Blanco Y Negro Records, Taken from ‘Honey’s Dead’) – In December 1992, I saw the Jesus and Mary Chain at Brixton Academy and it was and still is one of the greatest gigs that I have ever been to.

Counting Up from Two – #1

Two Weeks – FKA Twigs (2014, Young Turks, Taken from ‘LP1’)

I’m sort of catching up with all the songs that I had listed to write about before I decided to write about songs with one word titles (well its been 72 hours) for three months.  ‘Two Weeks’ by FKA Twigs was going to be the next posting in the ‘Its’ Monday Let’s Swear’ Series.  The reason for that is that ‘Two Weeks’ is utter filth. 

It is a song that is all about sex, lust a bit more sex and then doing the sex whilst dropping some ecstasy and talking about sex at the same time.  It is the sort of song that if it were a movie you would have to pay to watch it if you were staying at a Travelodge.  Ultimately it is about wooing a man away from his sexless relationship but its uncompromising, very explicit and most importantly, brilliant

It contains lines such as

“My thighs are apart for you when you’re ready to breathe in”

and in case that wasn’t subtle enough this one

“I can fuck you better than her” (which given the chap is in a sexless relationship isn’t exactly erm, hard)

In the video, just after that line is delivered, milk, gushes from the fingers of FKA Twigs, which is either extremely clumsy and wasteful of her given the price of milk these days or a metaphor for something which I don’t understand.

But as we all know, the It’s Monday, Let’s Swear Series ended about twelve weeks ago with Bobby Gillespie going mad in front of his bathroom mirror and besides today is Thursday.

So, ‘Two Weeks’ can instead usher in another new series.  A series that will count upwards from two, (I know, humour me) until we reach a number where we cannot find a song with that number in the title (My guessing is 26, no one has made a song with the number 26 in the title, surely). I am pretty sure that another blogger may have already done this, so if I am copying you, sorry.

Here are some more songs that have the number two in the title

The Two of Us – Jesus and Mary Chain (2017, Artificial Plastic Records, Taken from ‘Damage and Joy’) – a song which is comes from the Jesus and Mary Chain’s seventh studio album ‘Damage and Joy’ which also happened to be their first in nineteen years.  It was kind of good as well, unlike a lot of comeback albums – yes I’m looking at you The Libertines.

Two Chords – Summer Camp (2013, Moshi Moshi Records, Taken from ‘Summer Camp’) – which starts off trying to be a break up ballad but turns into something more like a 70s soft rock epic, only good.

Two Fingers – Jake Bugg (2012, Mercury Records, Taken from ‘Jake Bugg’) – which despite being the fifth track to be released as a single from Bugg’s just about ok debut album, was proclaimed by Radio 1 DJ Zane Lowe to be ‘The Hottest Track in the World’ when it was released in September 2012.  It may have been a slow week for singles or possibly highlight that Zane Lowe is an idiot.

Next week, the number three.