The Best 44 4th Albums of All Time #3

His N Hers – Pulp (1994, Island Records)

“If you want I can write it down”

Points 157

Highest Rank 1^st (twice)

Razzamatazz – Pulp (1994, Island Records)

‘His N Hers’ spent this entire contest in the Top Five, it swapped places with ‘Life’s Rich Pageant’ on an almost daily basis, and it was only the arrival of some high scores for the albums at one and two on the last day of voting that pushed it into third place.  For a very short period, on the last day, it sat top and could have won the whole thing. 

It would have been a worthy winner too, because ‘His N Hers’ is an outstanding album, the sort of album that sticks with you after one listen.  That might be because it is packed full of brilliant songs, like ‘Babies’ and ‘Lipgloss’ songs that back in 1994, hinted that it wouldn’t be long before Pulp became one of the biggest bands on the planet, but as MJM#4 points out, that really shouldn’t have happened.

Lipgloss – Pulp (1994, Island Records)

“His N Hers’ came out of nowhere.  The first three Pulp albums were savaged by the press and they really should have marked the end of the road for Jarvis & Co.  Instead with their backs to the wall, they created an absolute masterpiece, one that laid the foundations for all that was to follow as Britpop in all its manifestations took hold of the nation”.

MJM#4 has a point, in October 1994 virtually no one danced when I played ‘Babies’ in the basement bar, some cool hip kids kind of did a dance to it – one that seemed to involve standing still and moving just one arm, whilst pouting, but everyone else ignored it and the (mainly) geeky boys doing that dance, did so alone.  Six months later, ‘Babies’ took the roof of the place before Jarvis had taken his first breath.  Girls, by the way, now seemed to love those geeky indie boys in their charity shop blazers. 

Babies – Pulp (1994, Island Records)

If you don’t believe me here’s MJM#17 (one of the few female ones),

“I didn’t listen to ‘His N Hers’ until about five years after it had been released, I think I might have been 16 when I was given a copy of it for Christmas.  After about two listens I was kind of obsessed with them and particularly with Jarvis Cocker. I used to sit in my bedroom and devour the lyrics, I scrawled them on exercise books, and I had a big picture of Jarvis on the back of my bedroom door, that, I kid you not, I said goodnight to every night.  I loved the way that ‘His N Hers’ managed to address the agony of adolescent, tracks like ‘Someone Like The Moon’ properly nailed how heartbreak and teenage loneliness felt – it’s a stunning track.  For two years, two years!!, I dated this lad because he ‘sort of’ looked like Jarvis (if I squinted – I mean he had cheekbones to die for, but unlike Jarvis, he was dull.).

Someone Like The Moon – Pulp (1994, Island Records)

It’s not just the teenage heartbreak though, it’s the way that ‘His N Hers’ created stories and weaved humour and ordinary (ish) situations into the record.  Be it the way it mocks what the tabloids tell us what good looking looks like, or the way that it dealt with clumsiness of losing your virginity or the way that songs like ‘Acrylic Afternoons’ made you look at your neighbours in a different way, just in case they might be up for some under the kitchen table fun.

Acrylic Afternoons – Pulp (1994, Island Records)

Pink Glove – Pulp (1994, Island Records)

Which leaves us with just two records, and here is a lyrical clue as to which act we find in the Jimmy White role – and for once its not the Jesus and Mary Chain.

“Every time I thought I’d got it made”

Fifty Twelve Inches – #7 – Pulp

Common People (Motiv-8 Mix) – Pulp (1995, Island Records, Original Taken from ‘Different Class’)

You can I think imagine the scene.  Britpop is king, the dancefloor is packed to the rafters with hip and sexy young things (and my mate Jonny) all strutting their stuff to the latest hip and sexy sounds from hip and sexy young things in skinny t-shirts.  I mean Jesus they are even dancing to bands like Cast.

As the strains of something else fades out, the last big chorus from the latest Sleeper single perhaps, we drop this astonishing mix.  A minute or so of cheesy nineties beats fills the room there is bemused faces, people moan that we aren’t playing ‘Your Ma’ by Salad or something else equally bland or laugh at us for being ironic or trying to be clever and then in thirty seconds time, Jarvis pipes up “She came from Greece….” Cue bedlam on the dancefloor.   We’re so funny and so cool and so damn attractive.

That is pretty much how it happened in my head at least. 

In reality, Radio 1 had been playing the Motiv-8 Mix of ‘Common People’ for a while and its impact on the dancefloor frequented by the hip and sexy young things in the basement indie disco wasn’t that much of a surprise.  It was however, almost as popular as the album version of ‘Common People’ which we would perhaps get about twenty requests to play a night back in the day. 

Common People (Full length Version) – Pulp (1995, Island Records)

The Motiv-8 Mix of ‘Common People’ shouldn’t work, what with its cheesy handbag house bleeps and its Pete Waterman beats, but it really does.  It’s probably because of its cheesy nature.  You can almost smell the irony flowing through it.  Jarvis wants you to stick your handbag on the floor and dance around whilst some gonk in drainpipe jeans and a mullet (back to my mate Jonny again) tries to pull you.

The Motiv-8 Mix came on a DJ Promo twelve inch, it came in a plain black sleeve with ‘Common People – The Motiv-8 Mix’ stamped on it.  The promotional bumf shoved in the sleeve told you in no uncertain terms to ‘Stop what you are doing and listen to this….” 

There are four versions of ‘Common People’ on the twelve inch, you get the two tracks above, a radio edit, and something called ‘The Vocoder Mix’ which is ghastly but here it is.

Common People (The Vocoder Mix) – Pulp (1995, Island Record)

I once took this twelve inch along to a record fair in Guildford with the full intention of flogging it to this highest bidder – my head had been turned by the money that could be earnt by selling promo copies of Britpop tracks that had been remixed but I couldn’t bear to part with it.  I mean it’s ‘Common People’…

Earlier I had (foolishly on reflection) sold a one side promo of a remix of ‘Champagne Supernova’ by Oasis for £20 (nowadays a copy of that will cost nearly the same as a weekly shop in Waitrose).

Champagne Supernova (Da Lynch Mob Mix) – Oasis (1996, Creation Records)

I also sold another Pulp twelve inch – a Purple Vinyl one sided Moloko mix of Feelings Called Love’ for about £25.  I’ve never seen another copy of that anywhere since.  I think the remix surfaced as a B-Side on ‘Something Changed’, but I might be wrong but I probably should have kept that as well.

Feelings Called Love (Moloko Mix) – Pulp (1995, Island Records)

Alternative Versions – #20

Sunrise (Peel Session – 12^th August 2001) – Pulp (2006, Island Records, Taken from ‘The Peel Sessions’)

Sunrise – Pulp (2001, Island Records, Taken from ‘We Love Life’)

The Pulp Peel Sessions record is a wonderful album.  A two disc, two hour marathon of tracks recorded live for the John Peel show or recorded live for the BBC over a twenty year period.  Pulp only recorded four Peel Sessions between 1981 and 2001 and there were spread out.  There was a twelve year gap between their first one (1981) and their second one (1993) and the difference between their musical sound in that period is astonishing (I mean they are still unmistakably Pulp just post punk Pulp instead of pervy pop Pulp)

‘Sunrise’ comes from the fourth and final Peel Session (2001) that the band did, in true Pulp form, this took place some seven years after their third one (1994) and consisted largely of tracks from the bands ‘We Love Life’ album.   ‘Sunrise’ happens to be one of my favourite Pulp songs, definitely a late career highlight from them.  The Peel Session version kind of sticks to the recipe though and whilst its brilliant – it doesn’t better the original (though it comes mightily close) which means that we can reveal the result of the inaugural Alternative versus Original Competition – which I’ll do at the end.  Although, if you can’t wait till then the originals have it.

Let’s talk about the Pulp Peel Session album a bit though – because its an excellent album – and full of little treats for you to savour.  A real highlight though comes right at the end of the first CD, when you get this marvellous piece of spoken word theatre from Jarvis Cocker.  

Duck Diving (Peel Session – 12^th August 2001) – Pulp (2006, Island Records, Taken from ‘The Peel Sessions’)

I’m not sure if ‘Duck Diving’ was just recorded for John Peel or not but essentially what you get is Jarvis Cocker reading a childrens story over the faintest splash of electronica and it is just about the best thing I have heard this week.

Also very good is the Peel Session of ‘Pencil Skirt’ which is given a slightly Euro pop feel as an accordion squeaks away in the background before it is joined by some excellent keyboards towards the end – if I’d stuck that on the original playlist, we would have almost certainly have had a different name on the cup.

Pencil Skirt (Peel Session September 1994) – Pulp (2006, Island Records, Taken from ‘The Peel Sessions’)

CD Two contains tracks that are performed live in London (2001), Bristol (1995) and Birmingham (2001).  It ends with a brilliant live version of ‘Common People’ which starts with a disco beat, a swirling organ sound and some quality Jarvis swearing.  It sounds absolutely nothing like the ‘Common People’ that we all know and love – the first guitar isn’t heard for nearly two minutes and then the chorus kicks in and it sort off goes back to the script, there is a guitar break five minutes which is just ridiculously over the top as well and goes all glam rock on amphetamines for the last minute or so.  It’s wonderful though, but we all knew that.

Common People (Halloween Night 2001) – Pulp (2006, Island Records, Taken from ‘The Peel Sessions’)

So we have it – A close run thing – the Originals win by 10 points to 9, I really enjoyed this series and think I might make it an annual event.

Rearranging The Flowers – A Pointless Whodunnit with musical interludes and 7 chapters – #3

(Will the sneeze prove fatal for our hero?)

I must have looked pretty odd when the vicar (accompanied by Mrs Figgis) eventually opened the roof door about ten minutes after I sneezed.  I stood there gripping my trowel.  I was prepared to, well, trowel someone to death if I had to. 

Clubbed to Death – Rob Dougan (1994, Mo’Wax Records, Taken from ‘Annie On One’)

Mrs Figgis held the door open as the vicar walked across the roof towards me.  I lowered the trowel and tried my best to look at the very least, sort of sane.

“Whatever’s the matter man?” said the vicar, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost” and he put his arm around me and lead me to the small wooden stairs that lead from the tower to the rood.  As we reached the doorway I felt the first drops of rain fall onto my head.  I looked back, my bucket sat all by itself over by the air vent and I broke free from the vicar and told him that I’d forgotten my bucket. 

The rain splashed on the reinforced roof of the tower as I trudged back over to get my bucket.  I took in a few deep gulps of air and then turned back around and grinned at the vicar,

“Vertigo” I said to him, “Sorry, makes me a bit, erm, forgetful”. I don’t know why I said that.  I figured that it was more believable than telling him I was shaken up by two of the flower arrangers conspiring to murder an as yet unknown person.

Vertigo – The Libertines (2002, Rough Trade Records, Taken from ‘Up The Bracket’)

We walk back down the stairs, I collect my bag from the office and head on out of the church.  As I walk through the aisles I see Mrs Checkley and Kevin standing by the door and putting a big tub of brightly coloured flowers in a tub.  They both stare at me as I walked down the church towards the exit.  I eye them suspiciously and quicken my step.  Kevin suddenly steps out in front of me and for some reason my legs sort of wobble and then just stop working. 

Paralyzed – Ride (1990, Creation Records, Taken from ‘Nowhere’)

I should fancy my chances in a straight up fist fight with Kevin.  For a start, I’m a lot younger than him.  I’m also in much better shape and I’m armed with a trowel.  He has what looks like a bunch of aspidistras in his hand.  I shouldn’t be worried about him.  Then again, on other hand, I haven’t poisoned someone, filled their pockets with rocks and then dumped them in a reservoir.

“Make you a cup of tea?” Kevin asks me in his chirpy Cockney drawl, “As a thank you for fixing the roof”, he looks towards Mrs Checkley who has a look on her face that could curdle any milk she touched.

God Help Me – Jesus and Mary Chain (1994, Blanco Y Negro, Taken from ‘Stoned and Dethroned’)

I shake my head and decline his offer, making an excuse that my wife is expecting me home so I can fix the dishwasher.  What I want to say is that I don’t want to be their next victim.  I’m sure I read somewhere that the sap from aspidistras is poisonous to humans.  I step to one side to pass the bulky figure of Kevin and as I do, a door opens from behind me and the vicars voice calls out.

“Kevin have you or Jean seen Angela Finch?  Apparently she has not been since she left Bridge Club last night.  Her neighbour has been round to her house and she is not there and her bed hasn’t been slept in”.

Have You Seen Her Lately? – Pulp (1994, Island Records, Taken from ‘His N Hers’)

And with that Mrs Checkley dropped a vase on to the cold stone floor.

Retrospective Musical Naval Gazing – #8 (1998)

By the time 1998 had ended I had left University and with a shrug of indignation turned my back on the music industry by applying for, being interviewed for and then accepting a proper ground up job in Devon.  A decision which was surprisingly easy to make.  The choice, be the with the woman I love and live within spitting distance of green spaces, fresh air and beautiful beaches or spend the next two years at best, hanging around toilet bars in Camden speaking to massive bellends with raging cocaine habits about the new Warm Jets EP. The only downside was that I had to start actually buying music and gig tickets again instead of blagging it.

For the second year in a row, a record connected to at least one of Daft Punk topped my end of year poll and because of that, it was also the second year in a row where a track where guitars were virtually non existent topped the end of year chart.  Although of course it does sample a guitar riff from a Chaka Khan hit from the eighties. 

Music Sounds Better With You – Stardust (1998, Virgin Records, Single)

Aside from sexy one off single from French dance geniuses, 1998 was pretty much the year when Fatboy Slim took over the planet.  I remember DJing at University in late April and dropping ‘The Rockerfeller Skank’, ‘Brimful of Asha’ and ‘Renegade Master’ one after another and each one nearly took the roof of the place. ‘The Rockerfeller Skank’ in particular filled dancefloors months before it was officially released.  Each one of those would feature in my 1998 end of year chart, ’The Rockerfeller Skank’ came second, Cornershop were fifth and Wildchild were tenth.

The Rockerfeller Skank – Fatboy Slim (1998, Skint Records, Taken from ‘You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby’)

Brimful of Asha (Fatboy Slim Remix) – Cornershop (1998, Wiija Records, Taken from (originally at least) ‘When I Was Born for the 7^th Time’).

1998 was also the year that the Britpop bubble burst and many of the bands that had been lumped in with it moved swiftly away from it.  Pulp, for instance, released ‘This is Hardcore’ and managed yet again to thrill the critics, but at the same time, angered and lost most of the new fans that they had gained during the ‘Different Class’ years.  Personally, I thought and still think that ‘This Is Hardcore’ is Pulp’s second best album and that it was several yards better than ‘Different Class’.  ‘This is Hardcore’ was placed sixth in my end of year chart.

This Is Hardcore – Pulp (1998, Island Records, Taken from ‘This is Hardcore’)

I’ll jump forward a few years if I may, it is relevant.  In 2004, might have been later, I can’t quite remember, I saw Asian Dub Foundation down at the Eden Project and it was an amazing audible experience.  I stood quite close to the front – just right of centre – and around halfway through the band stopped and the small video screen to the right of stage showed shots in the crowd.  The camera zoomed in, for a second, it paused on my ugly mug and then suddenly switched just right and there stood grinning was an Asian man, who waved at the camera. 

“This man’s struggle inspired the next song.  Satpal Ram.  Just another innocent man”

For it was he.

Free Satpal Ram – Asian Dub Foundation (1998, FFRR Records, Taken from ‘Rafi’s Revenge’) which was at number eight just in case you were wondering.

Retrospective Musical Naval Gazing – #5 (1995)

The second year of my editing of the music pages of the student paper allowed me to expand my end of year top ten to a top thirty of both singles and albums.  I won’t go into details because most of it was garbage (and number 24 actually was Garbage) but suffice to say it was an eclectic mix of indie, hip hop, trip hop, techno, house and electronica.  It drew criticism.  A female wrote in and called me a misogynist because I had apparently put a song that glorified domestic violence at Number One, whilst a chap called Simon called me an idiot for leaving out ‘Alright’ by Supergrass. Swings and Roundabouts.  Simon if you are reading, ‘Alright’ by Supergrass, is shite and so are you.

We Don’t Need Nobody Else – Whipping Boy (1995, Sony Records, Taken from ‘Heartworm’)

‘We Don’t Need Anybody Else’ doesn’t quite glorify domestic violence (although, you could argue it has a funny way of showng it) but rather looks at the unhealthy and complex relationships that can escalate with unpredictable consequences.  Yes it has that lyric “I hit you for the first time today….Christ we weren’t even fighting…” and everything that it seems to indicate but it is so much more that line.  The intensity of the lyrics as they are delivered and the way the music explodes around it, is, and remains, staggering.

Most people argued that the song at number two should have been number one and in retrospect they were probably right as it was this: –

Common People – Pulp (1995, Island Records, Taken from ‘Different Class’) and it is still quite simply one of the greatest songs by any band anywhere in the history of music.  It doesn’t sound it but ‘Common People’ is actually quite a political song because underneath those irresistible hooks is anger at those who identify as working class to try and be more authentic.  It is a record that defined a generation.

Elsewhere in the Top Ten were tracks by the likes of Oasis (‘Some Might Say’ at Number 9), Radiohead (‘High & Dry’ at Number 8), Black Grape (‘Reverend Black Grape’ at Number 6) and Ash (‘Girl From Mars’ at Number 4). The rest of the top ten were tracks where a guitar could barely be heard.  At Number Three for instance was this :-

No Government – Nicolette (1995, Shut Up and Dance, Taken from ‘Now is Early’) which despite being released three years earlier got a well deserved re-released and was something I described as “Majestic jazz infused magnificence”.  Which of course it is, but its also full of laid back breakbeats and Eartha Kitt style vocals.  It still sounds marvellous today as well.

At Number five was a track that ushered in the next big scene to emerge out the dying embers of Britpop,  At first the press called it Amyl House, and then after several of the main acts starting hanging out with indie pop stars it morphed into Britbeat but that was terrible and so in a hail of trumpets, 303s and arpeggiators, the NME proudly invented ‘Big Beat’ in homage to the colossal beats that Fatboy Slim threw into a series of remixes of indie pop classics.  Me, I put it a bit more simply when I made ‘Leave Home’ a single of the week.

 “Throw out your Suede records you sad indie losers and dance like bastards to this instead”

Leave Home – Chemical Brothers (1995, Virgin Records, Taken from ‘Exit Planet Dust’)

Finally at Number Ten, a record that I still love today. 

Release Yo’ Delf – Method Man (1995, Def Jam Records, Taken from ‘Tical’) – it was the first in a hip hop triple header, at eleven was Gangsta’s Paradise and at twelve ‘Criminology’ be Raekwon.

The One Word Countdown – #2

I heard you stop outside the door…..

Babies – Pulp (1992, Gift Records, Taken from ‘His N Hers’)

Points 245

My first memory of ‘Babies’ is playing it around midway through my first ever stint as a DJ at the university indie club.  This would have been around late November 1994 and I had a packed dancefloor, Britpop was just about to break, Oasis were becoming huge, Blur had been in the Top Ten and nobody liked grunge anymore.  ‘His N Hers’ had been a firm favourite with me since I heard Gary Crowley play ‘Razzamatazz’ on his Sunday radio show about three years ago, and people everywhere were slowly falling for the kitschy charms of Jarvis and his band.  Or so I thought.

Razzamatazz – Pulp (1992, Gift Records, Taken from ‘His N Hers’)

Because two minutes into ‘Babies’, the dancefloor is clearing slowly to this weird off kilter indie pop so that only the really cool kids remained (the same one who had asked me to play Gorkys Zygotic Mynci and the Pastels about twenty minutes earlier) and Andy the indie club head honcho is hastily handing me a 12” of ‘No Good’ by the Prodigy, which saves the dancefloor and a disaster is avoided.

Fast forward about six months or so and Britpop is definitely king and there I am again behind the decks at the indie disco, and I risk ‘Babies’ again and the floor is absolutely packed by the time the chorus has kicked in for the first time.  The same fickle creatures who wandered off to the bar and elsewhere when I last played ‘Babies’ are also there trying to dance like Jarvis, which basically involves them standing still and moving one arm and occasionally putting a finger on your lips and pouting or sucking in your cheekbones.  All of them will tell the person that they are standing next to at the bar in ten minutes that they have been into Pulp since about 1986 or something.  Saying that, they know all the words, and my dancefloor is heaving and remains regardless of what I play next so I’m pleased.   Jarvis was clearly indie clubs new champion and that was fine by me.  

But…..(and just in case you are wondering I am rolling my tongue firmly into my cheek here, which on reflection Jarvis would probably enjoy watching me do)

I’m not sure that this is the right place to call out Jarvis here about ‘Babies’ because everyone loves it – including me – considering ‘Babies’ is now officially the second best song with a one word title in the world – but and in this day and age of exploitation – ‘Babies’ is lyrically suspect and by suspect I mean ‘Confessions of a Driving Inspector’ suspect.

A young lad, who we are led to believe is Jarvis, is in love with a girl and one afternoon after school he and this girl listen to her older sister have sex or some sort of saucy shenanigans with another boy in her room.  Jarvis, then decides that he and I quote “has to see as well as hear” and so he goes into her room and hides in her wardrobe.  We don’t know how long he hides in the wardrobe for it could be days for all we know.

So presumably, Jarvis waits in the wardrobe on the off chance that this girl comes home, with a boy and they have sex without her once going to the wardrobe first and opening it and seeing Jarvis pretending to fix a shelf or something.  Where was the younger sister all this time, did Jarvis make his excuses or did he break in unbeknown to the younger sister in the middle of the night.

Anyway, Jarvis gets lucky as she is with some guy called David, but then if I am recalling this correctly, on another occasion – so he is a serial voyeur (or has he just moved in…) – the older sister spots him and then has sex with him in case her tells her mother (can we add blackmail to the list of crimes here, burglary, voyeurism, blackmail, sexploitation, , it’s like a 70s sex movie version of ‘Feel Good Hit of the Summer’).  But there is a twist, the younger sister just happens to hear and confronts Jarvis. 

But of course, Jarvis loves the younger sister, despite perving on and then banging her older sister so Jarvis doing his best Robin Asquith impression tells the younger sister that

 “I only went with her cos she looked like you…”

Well that’s alright then Jarvis.  I’m sure both these women feel valued.

I’m joking of course, ‘Babies’ is marvellous and the content of the lyrics and the characters it introduces and the awkwardness and the social inadequacy of it are why we Pulp are so endearingly magical.

Two other Pulp songs, both almost as lyrical suspect as ‘Babies’ were also considered

Underwear – Pulp (1995, Island Records, Taken from ‘Different Class’)

Lipgloss – Pulp (1992, Gift Records, Taken from ‘His N Hers’)