Fifty Twelve Inches – #50

My Rising Star – Northside (1990, Factory Records)

And so we reach the end of this series. 

But don’t sit around looking sad and worry about what to do with your Sunday mornings from now on.  Because this series will be replaced next week with something almost exactly the same, only involving much smaller round things that play music when stuck into a machine. 

This series ends with a disappointing flump rather than a big bold bang of genius. I’ll blame the daughter and her rubbish ‘STOP’ commanding.  If it makes you all feel better I’ll stop her pocket money for a week.  There are two Northside Records in the cupboard, there should be three but I have a feeling that I used my copy of ‘Take Five’ as a frisbee once – possibly in homage to ‘Shaun of the Dead’.   Anyway, this is the other one

Shall We Take A Trip – Northside (1990, Factory Records)

I’ll now channel the spirit of the late great (ish) Jim Bowen and take a look at what we could have won.

I have EIGHT Carter USM twelve inches in my cupboard and we didn’t get anywhere near any of them. 

We could have had this for instance,

The Only Living Boy in New Cross – Carter USM (1992, Chrysalis Records)

There are also about eight Family Cat twelve inches in the cupboard, if I include ‘Tell ‘Em We’re Surfin’ as an EP, which I’m going to.  We didn’t get close to any of them either.  Sort of lucky because absolutely none of their music is available on Songwhip for some probably legal reason, but anyway, we could have had this as well,

Place With A Name – The Family Cat (1990, Dedicated Records)

Talking of records in the cupboard that aren’t on Songwhip, the finger of fate very nearly stopped on this a few weeks back.  I suspect the reason for Mr Ray’s Wigworld not being on Songwhip is entirely different from the Family Cat’s.

Faster Kitty Kat – Mr Rays Wigworld (1991)

What a thrill that would have been.  Mr Ray’s Wigworld should have been the biggest band in the world but everyone insisted on buying Therapy? Records instead.

Talking of whom, the finger of fate didn’t rather fortunately I suppose, stop on this either,

Teethgrinder – Therapy? (1992, A&M Records)

I had two early Therapy? albums as well that I never ever played.  Both purchased at the same time, from the same shop and then both left on the back seat of my mates Jon’s brothers Vauxhall Astra, who later denied any knowledge of them being there.

Finally for this series, we could have had Cud.  There are four, no hang on, five Cud twelve inches in the cupboard, a bunch from ‘Asquarius’, the re-issued brilliance that is ‘Purple Love Balloon’ and a twelve inch of ‘Robinson Cruesoe’, which up until about ten minutes ago, I thought I’d lost, turns out it was hiding inside the flappy white sleeve thing that came with early copies of ‘Some Friendly’. That does raise the issue of where my copy of ‘Some Friendly is.

Purple Love Balloon – Cud (1993, A&M Records)

All that is left is for us to have one more final no more than five word review, which is,

“Thank Goodness, that’s over”

It’s unclear if she is talking about the series or Northside.  Northside I suspect.

Nearly Perfect Albums – #116

Black Sunday – Cypress Hill (1993, Island Records)

I’ll start with a bold statement – ‘Black Sunday’ changed rap music.  It made it better, more accessible and more realistic.  I know, it’s quite a statement, but pull up a chair and I’ll try to explain as best I can.

In the autumn of 1993, I went to Brixton Acadamy and saw Cypress Hill live.  I wasn’t really into them but a young lady who I knew that I was sort of keen on had tickets and she asked me, and I said yes.  It was like no gig I’d ever been to before.  For a start there was the audience, (and please excuse the unconscious racism here) which was made up of mostly white indie kids who loved people like Beck or bands like Pavement.  People like me really.  I’d been to rap gigs before and had always felt slightly out of place, because I had long hair, couldn’t dance, wasn’t cool and definitely had the wrong sort of trainers and jeans on.  Here, plaid shirts, and Doc Martens were part of the look, as it would seem was marijuana which was passed round the place from stranger to stranger without a care in the world.  The queue for the takeaway across the road after the gig must have been something to behold.

I Wanna Get High – Cypress Hill (1993, Island Records)

Despite that feeling of mellowness that is definitely in the air, the gig itself is kind of riotous. There is for a start a mosh pit.  At a rap gig.  Its aided and abetted by B-Real from the band who stage dives during ‘Insane in the Brain’.  Not only that he raps at the same time as stage diving and actually manages to still be word perfect when he does it.  It was great and ‘Insane in the Brain’ is still an absolute banger.

Insane in the Brain – Cypress Hill (1993, Island Records)

Now I know what you are thinking, Cypress Hill were only doing what Public Enemy and others did before, they are not the first rap act to cross over and appeal to different parts of society, and you’d be right, mostly.  However, this cross over felt different, it felt like underneath all those lyrics about smoking weed and street violence – there was an alt rock album lurking.  I mean ‘Black Sunday’ had skulls on the cover for a start.

Lick A Shot – Cypress Hill (1993, Island Records)

There is barely a weak point on ‘Black Sunday’, its one where the band largely left behind the sample heavy funk that populated their (excellent) debut album and turned to a more physical darker sound (and it doing so promptly invented horrorcore – although they didn’t intend to).  It is an album that flits effortlessly between that gangster bluster and the laidback stoner vibe – which was I guess exactly the vibe they were looking for.  You can add to that the fact that ‘Black Sunday’ is a whole bundle of fun and that Cypress Hill managed to create an album so full of bangers that it would be soundtracking the college lives of thousands of kids for the next five years or so.

I Ain’t Going Out Like That – Cypress Hill (1993, Island Records)

The thing about ‘Black Sunday’ that I adore is the way it flows.  From the often repeated song title “Insane In The Brain”, “Cock The Hammer”, “Lick A Shot”, short and snappy but done in such a way that you cannot forget them, to the way the beats adopt a sort of cartoonish bounce that make it almost impossible to not nod your head to.

‘Black Sunday’ did change rap music, not only was it the first album by a Latino act to really breakthrough across the US and the UK but it also spawned countless others.  You can hear the same style that appears in ‘Black Sunday’ in future albums by acts like Outkast, the Wu-Tang Clan, Fugees, even the debut Tricky album owes it a significant tip of its hat. 

An incredible record.

Níl Broc ag Teastáil Craobhchomórtais na hEorpa – #6

6. My Bloody Valentine

Only Shallow – My Bloody Valentine (1991, Creation Records)

Points: 136

Highest Position: 1^st

We’ve probably all been there, or rather in this case, not been there.  I’m talking about a P.E Class obviously.  In my tenth year at school, we were allowed to choose to take P.E lessons away from the school.  This meant that we could leave the school at lunch time and head for the local swimming baths or the ice rink or if you were really sad, the golf course.

The first week we got to do this, was very exciting.  Everyone rushed home and got changed into their cool gear and an hour or so later turned up at their venue of choice, where a bored looking teacher would put a tick by your name and then sit in the café for an hour.  The second week it became more of a drag and by the third week it was positively dull and we craved the giddy excitement of a table tennis contest or the muddy thrills of the football pitch.

Only Tomorrow – My Bloody Valentine (2013, mbv Records)

By the fourth week, my friend Jason and I decided to just not turn up at the swimming pool.  Our excuse was brilliant.  We missed the bus and decided to go for a run instead.  We couldn’t fail (and as it happened, we were never asked).  Normally what happened is that Jason and I would head to my dads house, raid the freezer for some pizza and then leg it the mile or so to the swimming pool.  This time we got home, had some pizza, sat on the sofa, read the NME.  This time we did all that but in some strange turn of events, which I am convinced is fate, we spied the four cans of cider sitting on top of a video cassette behind the sofa.

The video was called ‘My Bloody Valentine’ and the front cover had a scary looking gas mark peering out from it.  It had an 18 rating.  There is only one thing two bored fifteen year old lads who are skiving off P.E can do in such situations and that is crack open the cans, stick the video on and grab some Pickled Onion Space Raiders from the cupboard.  Which is precisely what we did.  I mean if we going to get expelled for skiving we may as well get ripped to tits on moderately strong cider.  Right?

Off Your Face – My Bloody Valentine (1989, Domino Records)

The original 1981 ‘My Bloody Valentine’ scared the life out of me.  It is basically your average horror slasher, featuring a gas mark wearing killer who doesn’t just kill his victims he cuts out their hearts and shoves them in chocolate boxes or boils them with the hot dogs.  It is gruesomely graphic (so gruesome in fact that the full uncut version remained unreleased for nearly 20 years), especially when you are 15 and the goriest thing you have ever seen up until then is probably ‘Alien’. 

When You Sleep – My Bloody Valentine (1991, Creation Records)

Saying that I loved it and immediately declared it to be the greatest film ever made. 

It stayed that way until about 18, when it in a fit of pretentiousness, probably aimed at impressing a much older young lady I declared the greatest film ever made to be ‘Au Revoir, Les Enfants’, a French film about the sheltering of Jewish children during world war two (which is very good but definitely isn’t the greatest film ever made).

To here knows when – My Bloody Valentine (1991, Creation Records)

Of course, nowadays I’d tell you that Back to the Future Part II is the greatest film ever made.

Anyway, a year or so later after bunking off P.E with Jason, I found myself in Parrot Records in Canterbury where I found a second hand copy of ‘Isn’t Anything’ and decided that any band named after the greatest movie ever made had to be worth listening to, and of course I was right, but don’t just take my word for it.  Here’s MJM Berlin.

“I am still obsessed with ‘Isn’t Anything.’”

And here is MJM Bratislava again,

“What else have I learnt from this process, well, My Bloody Valentine still give me the shivers”.

It’s not clear if Bratislava is talking about the movie or the band.

Right, enough of all that – here’s Monday’s lyrical clue

“My friend Sally says she knows ya”

Ingen grävling , krävs Europeisk Mästerskap- #7

7. Wannadies

Hit – Wannadies (1996, Indolent Records)

Points: 134

Highest Position: Second

Earlier in this year, the No Badger Musical Jury voted the Wannadies Rocks Ninth Greatest W.  Now, here in the Rocks Greatest Europeans countdown they have been voted seventh.  If statistics can be held up as some form of magical prediction tool then by the time we get round to discussing Greatest use of a Diacritic in Rock (which is pencilled in for sometime in 2025) then the Wannadies will start as the clear favourites.

Öm Sommarvals– The Wannadies (2023, Universal Records)

Sadly, for us statistics are useless and they tell lies. There is of course, no statistical evidence to back that up, but it’s true.  Probably.

Talking of statistics, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned my GCSE statistics coursework on here before.  If I have, feel free to ignore the rest of this up to the sentences that starts “Here is….” If not, pull up a cushion.

Friends – The Wannadies (1996, Indolent Records)

We had two pieces of coursework to do for statistics, one was above probability the other was about predictability.  I’m sure I’ve discussed the predictability one before, I kept a record of every track played on Radio 1 between 1000am and ten pm on a Saturday and managed to show that the popular pop tracks on the day were on average most likely to be played five times a day on Radio 1. Snap’s ‘The Power’ was I think the most played song that day.

My results were slightly skewed by a late night show involving John Peel which had the New Fast Automatic Daffodils in session though.

Oh go on then,

Purple Haze (Peel Session) – New Fast Automatic Daffodils (1991, Strange Fruit Records)

For the probability coursework I bought myself a box of 48 packets of Smarties (other round chocolate sweets were available, but none were as tasty and as drug shaped to be honest) and set to work.  Back in the early nineties, Smarties came in a tube and had a colourful plastic lid, and underneath the lid was a random letter.  I have no idea why there was a letter under the lid.  My brother, the death metal fan, said that Rowntree, the manufacturer were secret Satanists and that the letters when placed backwards spelt out a message to Beelzebub.

 (I tried that – you didn’t.  You got something vaguely resembling an Aphex Twin song title).

Again, Ok, I mustn’t make a habit of this though

Hy a Scullyas Lyf Adhagrow – Aphex Twin (2001, Warp Records)

Anyway, I used probability to work out that it would take roughly 5000 tubes of Smarties to be absolutely sure of getting every letter of the alphabet.  I think my maths was wrong though, because my teacher, a foul smelling lady called Mrs Bruce (not Fiona, obviously) disagreed with me.  Anyway, according to an official Smarties fan site, some letters rarely appeared, and some lids with them on are even quite valuable.  I stuck them into my project book and gave them to the awful smelling Bruce lady.  I bet she lives in a mansion on Primrose Hill now with a gold plated toilet funded on the back of pilfered Smarties lids, and when you lift that toilet seat up there is an embossed letter underneath it. 

Just for the record I can remember that from 48 boxes of Smarties, I had the letter ‘g’ six times, by far the most frequently found letter on the underside of a Smarties tube. If that’s the not the most gloriously mundanely bland thing you read all day, then you need to stop reading the Daily Mail website.

Anyway, here are a couple more Wannadies tracks.

Yeah! – The Wannadies (1999, BMG Records)

Piss On You – The Wannadies (2002, National Records)

Here is (yup, you can come back in now), tomorrows lyrical clue which in all probability has been whispered behind a wall of guitars, feedback and smoke.

“Sleep like a pillow, no one there”

Championnats d’Europe sans blaireau – #8

8. Daft Punk

Technologic – Daft Punk (2005, Virgin Records)

Points: 114 (2 bonus points awarded in a fierce battle against Bolshevism)

Highest Position: 1st

You’ll remember that for this contest, Jury Members were allowed to ask for ‘Grovel Points’.  They could request bonus points for a particular band or act by grovelling to my kinder side of my nature.  Daft Punk were one of the bands that benefitted from the grovel points a decision which lifted them up a place in the final table.

There was in theory little more than a cigarette paper between the acts that finished between eighth and eleventh.  Just three points separated them all.  After the votes had been counted, Daft Punk sat in joint ninth level with The Raveonettes.  Now normally what would happen is that I would choose which of these bands I liked the best and promote one of them.  Which to be fair would have seen them elevated to eighth anyway.  However, on this occasion I had stuck a star by their name on the spreadsheet which mean I had to take into account the grovel points.

Rollin’ and Scratchin’ – Daft Punk (1997, Virgin Records)

Enter MJM Cardiff, who as some of you will recall was one of the people who gave ninth placed The Raveonettes full marks.  He asked as part of his votes if he could

“award -100 points to Daft Punk” (and U2, but that’s a given and of no importance right now, considering MJM Tbilisi had already requested that U2 started on – 1000 points)

Now, Jury Members, will know, that all attempts to scupper, infiltrate, corrupt and generally Farage the process are warmly and positively encouraged.  So, yes you can ask for negative points to be awarded, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that it will happen and sometimes you may anger the Gods in charge of the scoring.  Or I may just decide to punish such Bolshevism.

One More Time – Daft Punk (2000, Virgin Records)

But the problem is I love Daft Punk and had this nonsense of a contest been just up to me, they would have come second, and so in celebration of that I gave them an extra two points just because I could.  I may introduce anti-grovel points for the next jury vote in which acts (any act, we are nothing but fair here) will docked points if a Jury member delivers some high-level sledging against them.  Creative swearing will of course be essential.

Until then, here is some more music by Daft Punk, officially Europes eighth best act and officially France’s greatest musical export.  Yup they beat even Vanessa Paradis and her taxi.

Around the World – Daft Punk (1997, Virgin Records)

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk (2001, Virgin Records)

Contact – Daft Punk (2013, Virgin Records)

And, here is tomorrows doubly factually correct lyrical clue.

“Thursday’s the day after Wednesday”

Ingen Grævling påkrævet Europæisk Mesterskaber – #9

9. The Raveonettes

Love In A Trashcan – The Raveonettes (2005, Columbia Records)

Points: 112

Highest Position: 1^st (Twice)

The Raveonettes are a Danish indie rock duo consisting of Sune Rose Wagner who plays guitars and other instruments and does some vocalising duties to, and Sharin Foo who plays bass, guitar and also does some singing.  They claim to be heavily influenced by two part harmonies of sixties vocals groups such as The Everly Brothers and the dark lyrical contents of garage rock bands like The Velvet Underground and… oh hang on, a couple of the Jury Members want a word.  You were first MJM Prague.

“Sharin Foo, sigh”

Thanks Prague. 

Let’s see what MJM Bratislava has to say,

“What have I learnt from this voting process, well, The Raveonettes are sexy….”

 I see.  Thanks Bratislava.

OK, let’s erm, tackle, this bit first whilst Prague and Bratislava have a cold shower,

Five other members of the Musical Jury made a similar comment (and not all of them were middle aged men who should know better!).   Sadly, for The Raveonettes, this contest wasn’t titled The No Badger Required European Championship of Sexy, because I think the Raveonettes would have been a shoe in for top spot – well once I’d disqualified Bono for being, well, too sexy for this blog, that is. 

By the way “The European Championships of Sexy” is not something I recommend you Google, and nor has it been hastily written down in my notebook as a future series for this blog.

Lust – The Raveonettes (2007, Fierce Panda Records)

Putting sexiness aside for a minute, The Raveonettes still did extraordinarily well and for large parts of the process they were cemented into the Top Five.  Only a late swathe of votes for the acts who finished fourth, fifth and sixth saw them really slip down the table.  The topped the votes of two of the Jury, the aforementioned MJM Prague, and MJM Cardiff, who had this to say about them.

“The Raveoettes have been consistently magnificent over the course of 22 years.  While most bands struggle to make just one album that I can go back to again and again, the Raveonettes have at least three (‘Chain Gang of Love’, ‘Pretty in Black’ and ‘Pe’ahi’).”

Here just for Cardiff is a track from ‘Pretty in Black’ and ‘Pe’ahi’

Ode to L.A – The Raveonettes (2005, Columbia Records)

Killer in the Streets – The Raveonettes (2014, The Beat Dies Records)

Cardiff wasn’t the only jury member to mention consistency where the Raveonettes were concerned, here is our old friend Ljubljana,

“The Raveonettes haven’t really changed much over 20 odd years and 8 albums.  Take a pop song, layer it with a load of fuzz and a pounding drum beat and you are there.  It sounds easy but the Raveonettes do it better than anyone else”

Which seems like the perfect place to introduce today’s rather lengthy lyrical clue.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it.  Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it, snap it, work it, quick erase it.  Write it, cut it, paste it, save it, load it, check it, quick rewrite it.  Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it, rip it…..

Campeonatos de Europa sin necesidad de tejones – #10

10. Hinds

Castigadas en el Granero – Hinds (2015, Mom + Pop Records)

Points – 111 (awarded tenth place after a violent Connect 4 Battle)

Highest Position – 5^th

I’m going to start with MJM Kirkcaldy (and I know that Kirkcaldy is not the capital of Scotland, but as anyone who has been their will contest, it should be).  Anyway, Kirkcaldy over to you.

The Club – Hinds (2018, Mom + Pop Records)

“Can I justify the high placing of a band so relatively new”

Now, I’ll interject here briefly, because Kirkcaldy if you can’t justify it, then this piece is going to really piss on what’s left of the credibility of the No Badger Required Europa League.  I mean I’m surprised its recovered from the Jury only voting A-ha in 31^st place, but…..

No pressure Kirkcaldy.

“Of course I can!! (Phew! Our credibility remains intact, do continue Kirkcaldy)

 This is partly a celebration of the fact that Hinds are re-emerging in 2024, putting behind them the difficulties caused by the COVID restrictions that halted them in the tracks and caused half their members to give up the ghost.  The three albums so far, released between 2015 and 2020, have seen the band evolve and develop, with their lo-fi, noisy and brash take on post-punk being increasingly replaced by pop, all the while managing to retain the charm, humour and fun that they bring to their trade.  The new material, judging from what was an exceptional live show in Glasgow a few months back, sounds equally promising”

Bamboo  – Hinds (2015, Mom + Pop Records)

Now, a slight word in your ears about that “equally promising” new material. 

As some of you will know, the annual track of the year competition that runs in the background of No Badger Required from December 1^st to November 30^th is usually a very fraught and close run affair.  Normally it is a contest where spiky guitars battle electroclash sounds, fifteen minute krautrock bass solos, bombastic hip hop beats, furious drum n bass pieces and occasionally, a highly strung djembe drum before some banging earworm nips up the inside and takes the crown. 

Well, this year, the contest is already pretty much over, because folks, it is going to take something pretty special to beat the new single from Madrid indie rock band Hinds.

Boom Boom Back – Hinds (and Beck) (2024, Lucky Number Records)

As Kirkcaldy so wonderfully mentioned up above, half of Hinds left the band in the middle of last year just as the band were above to start work on a new album.  This was an act that would usually finish most bands off.  Hinds simply shrugged and the two remaining members carried out.  Then at some event in Los Angeles they bumped into Beck, who declared himself a fan and offered his services, and within days one the greatest four minutes of indie pop you will hear this year was born. 

Here are a couple more Hinds track, one from album two (‘I Don’t Run’) and one from album three (‘The Prettiest Curse’)

Finally Floating – Hinds (2018, Mom + Pop Records)

Good Bad Times – Hinds (2020, Mom + Pop Records)

Here is the lyrical clue for tomorrow,

“People say she’s a whore anyway…”

Fifty Twelve Inches – #49

(Well this is a treat.  We have a guest writer today.)

Its my dads 49^th birthday today.  Well not today, today is Thursday and we’ve just got back from the pet food shop, but when you read this apparently it will be dads 49^th birthday.  I won’t tell you what I’ve got him for a present because he’ll be reading this and it will not be a surprise anymore.  Also, mum and I haven’t been to the shops to get it yet.

For the last however many weeks it has been, dad and I have been picking records out of the cupboard, we normally do a few at a time.  He sits in front of the cupboard, moves the CDs out of the way and runs his finger along them and then I say stop and he pulls the record out and he plays the song on Alexa and I tell the people who read this blog what I think about it in ‘No More Than Five Words’.  I’ve always thought that this was lucky because sometimes I can’t think of more than five words to describe the songs.

Most of the time the song is very bad.  Noisy shouty music or music that just isn’t very good.  Sometimes it has been ok.  I liked Chumbawamba.  I liked Pulp and I really liked Fatboy Slim.   But as this post will be going out on his 49^th birthday we’ve changed roles.  Today my finger is going to be running along the records and dad will be telling me to stop. 

Then we’ll play the song, and dad can tell you what you he thinks in ‘No More Than Five Words’ and then I’ll tell you what its really like.

I hope my finger stops on something good.  Wish me Luck!!

Ok.  It stopped on a record by a band called James first, but apparently we have to go again because we’ve already had James (raised eyebrow emoji!).  The track was called ‘Sound’ and it wasn’t that bad.

Sound – James (1991, Fontana Records)

The second stop is apparently ok and it has made dad smile, which probably means he likes it.  The record my finger stopped on was called ‘Gas’ by someone called Mint 400.  According to dad its thirty years old.

Gas – Mint 400 (1993, Incoherent Records)

Alexa play ‘Gas’ by Mint 400.

Here’s dads no more than five word review (well actually he asked for No More Than Ten Words, as ‘It is his birthday’, but as it isn’t not yet, I said no).

“Splendidly angry noisy indie pop”

Here is what I think. 

I think it’s not very good, it’s too noisy, and they talk about being dead too much which is a bit boring.  The singer is also a bit growly and there isn’t really a tune going on, just wah wah wah, crash, crash, crash, and annoying guitars that squeal a bit.  I’ve told dad that he listens to some weird music and told Alexa to play ‘I’m Just Ken’ from the Barbie movie instead.

I’m Just Ken – Ryan Gosling (2023, Atlantic Records)

Which is brilliant obviously. Thanks for reading.  Dad says normal service will be resumed next week.

(If for some reason you don’t want to listen to ‘I am Ken’ here is my recommendation for the week – and I genuinely didn’t plan for the 49^th part of this post to be on my 49^th birthday, I’m not that clever)

Quality Pints – The Bug Club (2024, Sub Pop Records)

Nearly Perfect Albums – #115

New Forms – Roni Size/Reprazent (1997, Island Records)

According to Roni Size, when he and his crew Reprazent started to record ‘New Forms’ the idea was to make a record that sounded like the future. It was an idea that to some extent they succeeded in making a reality.  Because, back in the late nineties in the early throngs of the Blair government, drum n bass was still something of an unknown quantity.  Well to the masses at least but like Roni said, they wanted to do something different.

For instance, there are tracks on ‘New Forms’ that involve drum patterns made with the voices of Reprazent (‘Beatbox’), they used a double bass to create that sound you can hear at the start of ‘Brown Paper Bag’ and then sampled it and messed around with it to create that deep bass sound that throbs its way through the record. Elsewhere they used strings, soundscapes sampled from obscure science fiction films, cut ups, scratches, basslines and in Onallee they had a wonderful singer whose vocals could fill a room with ease. Its only when they glued all those ideas that ‘New Forms’ began to make sense and blend and only then did it start to sound like it actually came from the future.

Brown Paper Bag – Roni Size (1997, Island Records)

‘New Forms’ originally raised eyebrows when it came out due to the sheer length of it – 22 tracks stretched out over two discs, (an edited single disc version was available) but nearly all of it was brilliantly twitchy, buzzing drum n bass that charmed the masses enough to move drum n bass away from its largely underground club roots into cafes, high streets, student flats and coffee tables everywhere.

Although, the first reviews were not great, one magazine famously said it was the “sound of bored West Country kids in a bedroom fiddling around with computers” and it took a couple of live shows, complete with a live bassist and a live drummer surrounded by MCs and DJs recreating that sound, a sound that hadn’t really been heard outside of the clubs before for the reviews to start to glow.  And glow they did and then came the Mercury Music Prize matter.

Heroes – Roni Size (1997, Island Records)

The most famous thing that everyone knows about ‘New Forms’ is that it beat ‘Ok Computer’ to the 1997 Mercury Music Prize.  A decision that literally split the music industry down the middle and at the time did little for the reputation of the Mercury Music Prize, with literally everyone in the audience wanting and expecting ‘OK Computer’ to win (Roni Size says that he was told that Radiohead had won it and that he was helping himself to sandwiches when Eddie Izzard of all people grabbed him and hugged him and told him he’d won). 

When the decision was made there was an audible gasp (and even the odd boo) in the crowd and caused the head judge to tip his hat in the direction of ‘Ok Computer’ saying it was a brilliant album but ‘New Forms’ was trailblazing and had carved a path for drum n bass into the mainstream like no album before (or after it as it happens) and that is why it had won.

Share The Fall – Roni Size (1997, Island Records)

And you know what?  He was right.  ‘New Forms’ is better than ‘Ok Computer’ it was better than it in 1997 and even though parts of ‘New Forms’ sound dated now (or rather dusty from not being played as much as it should have been), its better than it now and no explanations are really needed because you only have to listen to it to really understand that – or at a push review this series to see that ‘Ok Computer’ doesn’t feature on it. 

Digital – Roni Size (1997, Island Records)

For what it’s worth ‘New Forms’ is also better than two of the other high profile nominees from the 1997 Mercury Music Prize those being, ‘Fat Of the Land’ by the Prodigy and ‘Dig Your Own Hole’ by the Chemical Brothers.

File under groundbreaking brilliance.

Keine Dachs-erforderlich-Europameisterschaft – #11

11. Yello (Switzerland)

Oh Yeah – Yello (1985, Mercury Records)

Points 111 (tied and placed eleventh after a fiercely contested game of Connect 4, which I lost)

Highest Position – First

I introduced a new concept for the members of the jury for this countdown.  I said that each of them could, if they wished to, grovel for five very special grovel points.  This was something that was very nearly taken up by one of the new members of the Jury, who we shall call Tirana, who thought about asking for grovel points for Switzerland’s Yello, but decided that on a deeper dive into their music that “half of it is utter toilet” so didn’t bother.  But he did say this

“Yello’s best stuff is really very very good.  There’s great humour in some of it – ‘Of Course I’m lying’ being a great example.  ‘Bostich’ is a work of art.  Great pounding synthlines and real drama.  The production sound is great through most of it – really evocative and definitely their sound”

Of Course, I’m Lying – Yello (1988, Fontana Records)

With such a glowing paragraph as that you would think that Tirana was the person who gave Yello the full twenty points but you would be wrong, for that honour we must head over to our Swedish correspondent who just to really annoy him I am going to refer to as Copenhagen.  

Copenhagen added these words to his votes and he kept very much to the script, take note Jury members, take note…..

“The winner is – from Switzerland! Yello, who in the end beats Kraftwerk after an even 2 – 2 at full time by scoring a beautiful goal by the Scottish born centre forward Billy MacKenzie.

Yes the Germans were first, but at first they were basically kraut rubbish until they changed gear and became electronic pioneers. However, to be honest, it was a clearly defined period at the top, from 1974 to 1981, and nowadays we only see them playing the oldies but goldies league – a bit like Beckham moving first to the US and then to Saudi Arabia (or wherever he went after the US) (SWC adds – It was Paris, albeit he was paid in Saudi blood money, the traitor)

Angel No – Yello (1985, Mercury Records)

That’s entertainment! I hear shouted from the VIP section; agreed, but this tournament is for real. In contrast Yello are still, some 40+ years later, active and playing Champions League. Surely somewhat like an unknown and mainly forgotten Swiss mountain village team very underrated and underestimated by their competition, they still have a strong defence covering their own playing half in Boris Blank and a very effective scorer in Dieter Meier – who even if invisible for long periods of the game strikes when the slightest opportunity arises.

Night Train – Yello (1994, Mercury Records)

They had a period during the 90’s when they got a bit lost in trying to copy the tactics of other teams, who in their turn had Yello as their base when they started out, but by 1999 and the ‘Motion Picture’ album they were back on track with a strategy building on the winning 80’s. The aforementioned Billy MacKenzie was during the 80’s at times joining the team and when he did, he always scored for the win.

Houdini – Yello (1999, Mercury Records)

Marvellous work Copenhagen. Just for you, here one that sees the boy MacKenzie up front,

Moon On Ice – Yello (1985, Mercury Records)

Here is Monday’s lyrical clue when we enter the Top Ten.

“It’s cloudy sticky and we have to stay in the barn”