Galashiels – An Apology

Dear No Badger Required

I write on behalf of the Galashiels Town Council Guild

On Tuesday March 14th I was sent a web link to your so-called music blog ‘No Badger Required’, by a distraught member of the public.  Your blog has upset a great many people who call this fine town home. 

Not only have you desecrated the memory of two of the greatest people to have ever come from Galashiels, Robert Burns and Sir Walter Scott, you have seen fit to pour scorn on local living legend Fish from Marillion. I have never heard of this band Dawn of the Replicants, which you see so enamoured with but having checked them out via the links I can confirm that they definitely are NOT the most cultural significant thing to have ever set foot in Galashiels.  Why just yesterday I heard a dog barking in the local park that was more tuneful than anything that band have produced.

If Fish were dead, he would be spinning in his grave.

The Town Councils Guild have also had to make it clear to at least six members of the public that there are no plans to name the streets of the new housing scheme at the edge of the town after songs by Dawn of the Replicants, this would be stupid and counterproductive.  No one in their right mind would ever buy a house in Skullcrusher Drive, even if you promised them free Irn Bru for life.

I will quote from one member of the public who states that

Paul Vickers the apparent singer of Dawn of the Replicants does not deserve to be commended in this way, I remember that wee shite defacing a poster of Ronnie Corbett that was in the market square and calling me a ‘radge’ when he was nine

This man is not a role model to the local community and his songs will not be honoured in this way.

For the record those new streets will be named after famous footballers from our local side, Newcastle United and as it stands, there are only three houses left unsold in Warren Barton Close and only five unsold in Kieron Dyer Avenue.

I strongly suggest that you have never visited Galashiels, I suspect that you have never tasted the fine food that can be found there.  I suspect that you have never walked the marvellous Market Square and been swept away by the emotional pull of Fish’s wonderful lyrics that are forever twined with it.  I also imagine that you deliberately chose to ignore that The Tapestry of Scotland, one of the most culturally significant pieces of material anywhere in the world, let alone Scotland, is housed in Galashiels. That, makes the Bayeux Tapestry look like a dirty hankie in comparison.

I strongly suggest that you have poked fun at our wonderful town because you are a lazy, ignorant writer with the intellect of an apricot

We, at the Galashiels Town Council Guild demand that you publish an apology or retract the information on your page.

Yours

Salli Froop

Chair Galashiels Town Council Guild.